The Fall and Its Effects on our Relationships (2)

So if we know what relationships are supposed to be like (see post one), how they are designed by God for Creation, then why are they so hard? I think the answer is found in Genesis 3, where we encounter how sin is brought into the marriage relationship. The hearts of Adam and Eve were turned away from God when they sinned against him, and Satan’s goal was realized. After Eve was deceived and ate of the forbidden tree, Adam was faced with a dilemma, and he must make a choice that is only possible when living in a world where sin has entered. “He must, he thinks, either obey God and lose his beloved Eve or enter with her into rebellion and lose his own standing before God. The choice was between the gift and the Giver, between Even and the blessed Creator.” Adam ate the fruit, and the choice was irrevocably made.

I don’t think Adam was right, though. We don’t have to choose between the gift and the Giver. Instead of turning in faith to God to help him, Adam turned away from him and that’s why he fell into sin. “He gave Eve the place in his life reserved for God alone. He made her the ultimate object of his worship… Eve was not designed to do this. She was made to be a suitable helper for him, not a goddess.” They listened to a lie; despite what Satan tempted them with—-that they would be like God—-they found that only God can be the source for blessing in our lives. His love is given to us with the intent that we enjoy it, but their rebellion ruined what was once good.

More effects of sin:

1. Alienation: The man and the woman could no longer be in a right fellowship with God, and could therefore no longer enjoy the intimate fellowship and love they previously had with each other—-no longer were they pure and innocent. Genesis 3:7 says, “Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin cloths.” “Gone were the days of open disclosure; Adam and Eve now had something to hide, something to cover up, something wrong at the core of their beings.”

2. Fear: God enters the scene, Genesis 3:8-9: “And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”’ Adam states that he was afraid, and then he hid himself from the Lord. The presence of the holy God was a threat to him, when in a right relationship with God, His presence should be loving and Fatherly.

3. Self-centered concern for oneself instead of commitment to another. Adam is the first blame-shifter in a “long, long line of men to put down his wife for his own sin.” He points fingers both at Eve and at God. When questioned by God about his sin, Adam replies, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate” (Gen. 3:11-12). Adam is desperate to remove his guilt from himself. And when God demands an answer from Eve, she too does not respond completely truthfully: “The serpent deceived me, and I ate” (Gen. 3:13).

How often we blame others-—and even circumstances-—for our sin. Instead of owning up to our own hardness of heart, we try to push God’s wrath onto other things. I think if we really saw our sin for what it was, and openly admitted to it, relationships would be so much easier. We wouldn’t be trying to cover ourselves up and hiding all the ways in which we sin. “Sin corrupts intimacy with shame and offers secrecy in its place. It twists commitment into selfishness, intimacy into secrecy and shame, and interdependence into conflict.”


Next: The curses God put individually on all men and women, and what that means for today.

life update.

from an e-mail i wrote to a friend:

"i am good - i am currently sitting on the king size bed that has recently inhabited my old room in st. louis, taking a break from reading gone with the wind, and listening to rain drops pelt my window. it is glorious. i've been on a much needed retreat home since saturday night and it has been so restful! some castlewood time, some Y time, some family time, and lots of reading.

this past semester was really tough, hopefully the toughest one i will ever have school-wise, but looking back on it, i've learned so much about myself that it's incredible. first, i changed my major this semester, from english education to just english. my heart just wasn't in it anymore and i should have realized it a while ago.
...
i've been shown my sin to an infinite degree this semester, and i've been shown just how much i rely on myself instead of trusting in the Lord and his promises, which has really been a huge blessing. it's true: one of the greatest acts of love that the Lord can do for us is to show us our sin and to make it blatantly clear, and it is always for the best. i fall short in loving people and loving them the way they need to be loved, how they are best loved; i fall short in spending my time sacrificially, much less even desiring to do that; i continually blame others and other things for my sin, whether it's "oh, that's just how my personality is" or "i don't have the time, money, resources, mindset, etc." i love with conditions, not unconditionally, and i've lost sight of the importance of Scripture in my life. i've forgotten that i myself am loved unconditionally, in the image of God, a glorious ruin but glorious nonetheless.

but i'm being rebuilt and continually being reminded of how great my Creator is. remember that book authentic beauty (this makes me think of it--not that i want to date jesus--ha.)? well all cheesiness aside, i truly am his beloved and i can rest in that. i'm somehow becoming more aware of the sin that has blinded me for the past couple months and i'm realizing how hard my heart has become. and it sucks. it makes me want to just say ok that's it, i give up, i'm retreating to where i am content and comfortable, but i can no longer do that without a pull on my heart. and for that i am so grateful.

other things new (and for sure lighter):

i'm staying in columbia again this summer and interning for veritas, the crossing's college ministry. i'll be leading a summer girls bible study and i guess doing some of the event planing. not too sure what else. i'm excited about the people who will be here, old friends and new, and i'm excited to spend another summer in columbia--a city that is becoming my home. i'm also nannying for a family with two older girls part-time (aka i'm swimming, cooking, and going on hikes--and getting paid for it!).

some of my friends and i formed a co-ed softball team in a wednesday night league, which has been a huge highlight. we're 4-1 right now and it is a BLAST! so good to be back on the field and getting dirty again! i forgot how much i missed softball.

i also started watching LOST with a couple people. we just finished season one, and it is incredible, let me tell you. i hope that you watch it, but if you don't, you may want to think about starting :)"