Summer Reading Wish List

Just some books I'm looking forward to reading this summer.... check back for more soon!

Through His Eyes: God’s Perspective on
Women in the Bible, by Jerram Barrs

With so much conversation within the Church on women’s roles—both in the church and within a family--Jerram Barrs’ newest book, Through His Eyes, answers the question “What does God think about women, and how does he treat them?” Barrs says, “Right from the beginning in Genesis chapter one, God declares that He has made us, male and female, in His image; so He has given all of us this marvelous dignity of being crowned with the glory and honor of being made as small, physical, finite reflections of who He is in His infinite majesty.” He presents a biblical theology of how God views and treats women in the Bible.

I’m excited to read this for many reasons: 1. I’d like a better foundation on how God relates to women, despite what our culture may say, 2. Jerram Barrs consistently writes books that are biblically based and filled with truth, and 3. I’d like to examine my own heart and my own preconceived views that I’ve developed somewhere along the line concerning the roles of women.

Gilead, by Marilynne Robinson

Simon Wells says that “imagination and fiction make up more than three-quarters of our real-life.” I would agree. We have so much to learn from fiction books—they make reality into something tangible, they paint a picture of something abstract more vividly than anything else could. This is one book that I’ve almost finished reading and I will be sad to put down with finality.

Gilead is a meditation on how even the simplest things and simplest people can be touched by an incredible grace and wonder. Regret, forgiveness, grace, resentment, jealousy, love, faith, and fear are all woven so tightly into this novel. The pace requires readers to put themselves in the shoes of John Ames, a preacher in his seventies who is nearing the end of his life. This book is his thoughts, journals, and letters to his seven year old son, and the expression of love is incredible.

A Quest for More, by Paul David Tripp

Authentic “kingdom-living” is emphasized in this book rather than a set of principles and step by step instructions. I’ve started this one, too, and have been really impressed and convicted thus far. Tripp shows us what we are living for: our own life and our own kingdom. And he compares that to the incredible life that were made to live, the one that we were created for. Why do we long for something more? Why do we know that this is not all there is? There is something more, Tripp says, and we need to see it. We need to see the bigger kingdom that Christ teaches about, because this is where we were meant to be.

This book is a heart check for anyone. It is opening my eyes to the focus I place on my own life. If you’ve been to summer Bible study at the Artisan the past few weeks, this is the book that Ryan has been emphasizing during his talks. I recommend it for a bigger view of your own life. Tripp writes, "In a fallen world there is a powerful pressure to constrict your life to the shape and size of your life. There is a compelling tendency to forget who you are and what you were made for. There is a tendency to be short-sighted, myopic, and easily distracted. There is a tendency to settle for less when you have been created for more. There is something expansive, glorious, and eternal that is meant to give direction to everything you do. And when you lose sight of it, you have effectively denied your own humanity."

Caring for Your Introvert

Emily sent me this article today... considering I am probably 70-95% 'I' (introvert) on the Myers-Briggs personality test, this describes me so well!! Read for some laughs and good information. Also, how to care for me. (Kidding!... kind of.)

"Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?

If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly." Read the rest.

Airport Adventures...

i had the chance to go to florida for a week last week, and man, some funny things happened. just wanted to share the exciting adventures of the day and a half it took to get there.

we got to kansas city on thursday at about 2:30pm. by "got to kansas city," i mean we drove the last 20 minutes through hazardous rain that was literally blowing sideways. flash floods were everywhere and it was DARK... it could have been 7:30pm and we wouldn't have known the difference. noelle and i kept saying "i have never seen anything like this before!" it was the worst storm i have ever been in, and thus, we were wondering about our flight... scheduled to leave at 5:00 from the KCI airport. we arrive at the airport amid a hurricane and discover that our flight has been delayed an hour.. no big deal, because we will still have an hour before our connecting flight from memphis to tampa.

we grab dinner in the boulevard brewery at the airport and hear lots of businessmen lauding "no one is getting out of hear tonight!" in between lots of martinis and boisterious laughs. all we see is lighting and the look on each others faces that announce "this can't be happening, we just want to get to florida!"

we find our gate and gaze at a funny older man (think jerram-age) who is probably from belgium (he had a passport) wearing orange pants, a pink button down, and a blazer, eating grapes one at a time with his pinky finger up. and his front hair has the biggest wave ever. needless to say, our delay time keeps getting longer and longer. while we are waiting, we are encouraged by a cute little family with two very small children who are from kansas city, ks (we overheard some phone conversations) who are doing an INCREDIBLE job keeping their kids in line despite a 5+ hour flight delay. not fun in an airport, but they are managing. we were so impressed!

at 9:00pm, we board the plane. the first thing we see is belgium man sitting in first class. he already has a pillow behind his head, his eyes are shut, and he has a blue blanket wrapped around his neck. standard.

we are in the air for 3 1/2 hours on what should be a 2 hour flight, and noelle wakes up to (while i am kind of sleeping) an announcement: "sorry folks, we are passing over TEXAS (note, we are going from kc to memphis) and will be there in about an hour and a half. thanks for your patience." around midnight, we touch down and arrive at a deserted airport. we have to get new boarding passes for a flight the next morning since we have obviously missed our connecting flight, so we have to leave the gate. somehow we get "overnight bags" complete with an XL t-shirt and a finger push-up deodorant and are told that the safest place to sleep is over by the arby's.

alas, we see a women with an air-mattress, pillow, and pea green blanket and wonder if she has just thought to bring this with her??? or does she know something we don't? noelle asks, and she looks a little bewildered but tells us to just call the airport police from the beige phone on the wall and ask for one ourselves. apparently there is a whole stockpile of mattresses and blankets in the memphis airport! an hour later, a security guard wanders over and retrieves some for us. we decide that in 2 or 3 hours the arby's scenario will be hopping with people trying to get on flights, and since i have stumbled into a bathroom with a quaint little sitting room in it earlier, we decide to drag our air mattresses across the entire airport to find it and sleep in the quietest place we know of. well, we get yelled at and are told that the best place to sleep is upstairs on a second floor that goes around the entire perimeter of the lobby. we are looking down at the whole airport, and by now it is close to 2am. a man had given us "sani-wipes" to wipe down our mattresses, so we did that and got settled for the night in our too-big t-shirts for a night of sleeping in the memphis airport.

we wake up at 4:30am to a congested airport and we are just sleeping there, looking at them. hilarious. we sleep on and off in this public place until 8am and get up, people are kind of looking at us funny, and we take our overnight kits to the bathroom that we earlier had gotten kicked out of. we grab some coffee and catch our flight to florida.

it was a night. :)

Rachel Barkey has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She is a wife, mother of two children, and not expected to see her 38th birthday. Several weeks ago, she shared a message with a group of women and requested that it be videotaped so that one day, her kids could hear her heart. It's online now, and I watched and was so affected by it that I wanted to post it on here for you to see if you have the time to watch it for yourself.

It could quite possibly be the best presentation and reminder of the gospel that I have ever heard, especially from someone so close to death. It will encourage you to believe more, and it will show you yourself a little more.

You can listen to the audio or watch the video here.

Tweeting About Twitter... Narcissism... Reality?

Every day I am amazed at how many people have and are getting Twitter. Phenomenons like this [even blogging] just seem to sweep across everyone's computers. I read a great blog, though, a couple days ago, about Twitter, and I think some of the comments about Twitter are right on. As with anything, there are good things about Twitter--I'm not saying there aren't. But I do think that as students of our culture we need to be taking closer looks at what we so blindly take as good and meaningful, and look at the holistic affects there can be on our lives.

My favorite parts:

"Twitter unbundles the blog, fragments the fragment. It broadcasts the text message, turns SMS into a mass medium.

And what exactly are we broadcasting? The minutiae of our lives. The moment-by-moment answer to what is, in Twitterland, the most important question in the world: What are you doing? Or, to save four characters: What you doing? Twitter is the telegraph of Narcissus. Not only are you the star of the show, but everything that happens to you, no matter how trifling, is a headline, a media event, a stop-the-presses bulletin. Quicksilver turns to amber.

Are you exhausted yet?

...using Twitter presents us with the possibility of a social reward, while not using it presents us with the possibility of a social penalty - and the possibility of a reward or penalty is a far more compelling motivator than the reality of a reward or penalty. Look at me! Look at me! Are you looking?

What used to happen in the privacy of the mind is now tossed into the public's bowl like so many Fritos. The broadcasting of the spectacle of the self has become a full-time job. Au revoir, Jean Baudrillard, your work here is done.

The great paradox of "social networking" is that it uses narcissism as the glue for "community." Being online means being alone, and being in an online community means being alone together. The community is purely symbolic, a pixellated simulation conjured up by software to feed the modern self's bottomless hunger. Hunger for what? For verification of its existence? No, not even that. For verification that it has a role to play. As I walk down the street with thin white cords hanging from my ears, as I look at the display of khakis in the window of the Gap, as I sit in a Starbucks sipping a chai served up by a barista, I can't quite bring myself to believe that I'm real. But if I send out to a theoretical audience of my peers 140 characters of text saying that I'm walking down the street, looking in a shop window, drinking tea, suddenly I become real. I have a voice. I exist, if only as a symbol speaking of symbols to other symbols.

...As the physical world takes on more of the characteristics of a simulation, we seek reality in the simulated world. At least there we can be confident that the simulation is real. At least there we can be freed from the anxiety of not knowing where the edge between real and unreal lies. At least there we find something to hold onto, even if it's nothing."

I think there really are some great points made. Even as I've sat and pondered getting Twitter before, the thoughts that come into my head really are so self-conscious: "If I get Twitter, people will know what I am doing--that's worth something, right? I won't be out of the loop, I'll know what's going on with people. I want to be in the know. I should to be in the know. And I want people to know about my life, too." And this is even first assuming that people will even look at my Twitter page to begin with. In a time where everyone is so busy, where there is no time left, why are we adding something else to remove us even more from the reality that we really live in--the human part of us? Why are we looking to one more thing to bring us a sense of identity, even in the smallest of ways? I don't at all want to vilify Twitter, but I just want to ask questions of our use of some technology in the first place. There's not necessarily anything inherently wrong with Twitter, but how are we using it?

On Community

Written by Darrin Patrick, February 6, 2009. Love this.

We are alone. We feel it. The universe is big and we are small. Sin has caused this "aloneness." We try to relate to others, but that doesn't seem to satisfy us. We get disappointed when others don't act like God (and meet all the needs that we demand they meet) or when others don't treat us like God (with the accompanying worship and praise that is due us). The truth is that we don't get the community thing. We like the word. We revel in the concept. Community sounds really good. But it seems to elude us. We need a new grid that is not centered on our felt need for "community."

Community began in eternity past. God who has always existed has always existed in community: Father, Son and Spirit. The Godhead models what community is: equality accompanied with submission. Being unified along with being different. God is the ground and starting place for community.

Community is experiencing Christ through one another.

Community is knowing and being known, serving and being served, celebrating and being celebrated. Community is hanging out with Christian friends and laughing about stupid things. Community is gradually opening up our true selves to people and letting them see who we really are. Community is telling each other the truth in love.

Community is not just being "nice."

True community involves being in a bad mood and still being pleasant to others. Community means asking for help. To be in community means to be in need. To feel other peoples' pain, that's community. To think more about what others need, that's community. Community involves crying and looking foolish in front of others. To be in community means to be uncomfortable at times. Community involves risking our image. Community is not just eating together. Community is not seeing people at church. Community is not saying, "Fine" when asked how you are doing. To be in community involves using your phone a lot.

To experience community is to arrange one's life in such a way that fellow members of the church are seen not as a burden to deal with, but friends with which to do life.

Community is seeing church as a family to belong to, not a service to go to. Community involves simplifying one's lifestyle in order to welcome others.

Community means sacrificing time and money for those who need either. To listen more than you talk is community. To work out all conflicts and never hold grudges is community. Community is the way of Jesus who related to and lived with twelve very imperfect men when he could have accomplished his mission and lived his life without them. Jesus showed us how to do community by who he was and how he lived.

Are You a Christian Hipster?

Hilarious. I bet if you're reading this, this description fits you pretty well :)

Christian Hipster Likes and Dislikes (By No Means Exhaustive… Just a Sampling)

Things they don’t like:
Christian hipsters don’t like megachurches, altar calls, and door-to-door evangelism. They don’t really like John Eldredge’s Wild at Heart or youth pastors who talk too much about Braveheart. In general, they tend not to like Mel Gibson and have come to really dislike The Passion for being overly bloody and maybe a little sadistic. They don’t like people like Pat Robertson, who on The 700 Club famously said that America should “take Hugo Chavez out”; and they don’t particularly like The 700 Club either, except to make fun of it. They don’t like evangelical leaders who get too involved in politics, such as James Dobson or Jerry Falwell, who once said of terrorists that America should “blow them all away in the name of the Lord.” They don’t like TBN, PAX, or Joel Osteen. They do have a wry fondness for Benny Hinn, however.

Christian hipsters tend not to like contemporary Christian music (CCM), or Christian films (except ironically), or any non-book item sold at Family Christian Stores. They hate warehouse churches or churches with American flags on stage, or churches with any flag on stage, really. They prefer “Christ follower” to “Christian” and can’t stand the phrases “soul winning” or “non-denominational,” and they could do without weird and awkward evangelistic methods including (but not limited to): sock puppets, ventriloquism, mimes, sign language, “beach evangelism,” and modern dance. Surprisingly, they don’t really have that big of a problem with old school evangelists like Billy Graham and Billy Sunday and kind of love the really wild ones like Aimee Semple McPherson.

Things they like:
Christian hipsters like music, movies, and books that are well-respected by their respective artistic communities—Christian or not. They love books like Resident Aliens by Stanley Hauerwas and Will Willimon, Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger by Ron Sider, God’s Politics by Jim Wallis, and The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis. They tend to be fans of any number of the following authors: Flannery O’Connor, Walker Percy, Wendell Berry, Thomas Merton, John Howard Yoder, Walter Brueggemann, N.T. Wright, Brennan Manning, Eugene Peterson, Anne Lamott, C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton, Henri Nouwen, Soren Kierkegaard, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Annie Dillard, Marilynne Robison, Chuck Klosterman, David Sedaris, or anything ancient and/or philosophically important.

Christian hipsters love thinking and acting Catholic, even if they are thoroughly Protestant. They love the Pope, liturgy, incense, lectio divina, Lent, and timeless phrases like “Thanks be to God” or “Peace of Christ be with you.” They enjoy Eastern Orthodox churches and mysterious iconography, and they love the elaborate cathedrals of Europe (even if they are too museum-like for hipster tastes). Christian hipsters also love taking communion with real Port, and they don’t mind common cups. They love poetry readings, worshipping with candles, and smoking pipes while talking about God. Some of them like smoking a lot of different things.

Christian hipsters love breaking the taboos that used to be taboo for Christians. They love piercings, dressing a little goth, getting lots of tattoos (the Christian Tattoo Association now lists more than 100 member shops), carrying flasks and smoking cloves. A lot of them love skateboarding and surfing, and many of them play in bands. They tend to get jobs working for churches, parachurch organizations, non-profits, or the government. They are, on the whole, a little more sincere and idealistic than their secular hipster counterparts.

http://stillsearching.wordpress.com/2009/02/27/are-you-a-christian-hipster/

What does this say about the church? Is this what we've made Christianity into? "Cool Christianity" -- distancing yourself from contemporary evangelical Christianity? Or is it simply a convenient title for a personality? One comment I read on the website was astonished at this definition of Christian hipster. He said:

WHAT IN THE WORLD??? No, literally!?! What in the world? I read the whole blog but you lost me at “…don’t like door-to-door evangelism…alter calls…”

Really? Does it matter what you like or dislike? Do these “hipster’s” care more about the new secularistic church than the “church” that Christ is trying to unite through men who these hipster’s don’t like?

Just interesting to think about. Thoughts??

Themes of L'Abri

In light of the L'Abri conference coming up this February, I thought it might be a good idea to highlight five themes of the ministry of L'Abri and Francis Schaeffer. Hopefully they will give you a good idea of the perspective of Christianity that L'Abri is taking.

1. The Truthfulness of Christianity (True Truth)

We need to rediscover the objective reality of Christianity, really see the God who has acted concretely in time and space. Christianity is historically true; God has involved Himself in the flow of history. This means that it isn't just "my truth," or what works for me, because if Christianity is true at all, it is true for all. And whether we believe it or not, it remains true. It also means that it is consistent with all reality around us, and therefore that God speaks into all reality. We must see reality as God sees it.

2. The Reality of the Supernatural

Scrpture tells us that the God who is there is the God who is here. We must not live by simply what we can see. The unseen is just as real as what we do see, and our prayer life must reflect this reality. We will bear fruit that God has ordained because God is here. We need not pray in light of it as a ritual, but as a reality. God hears us. Really. Because the Christian life is not about the extraordinary, but about the ordinary that God works through. The spiritual aspect is the most important--once we are rooted in that reality, lives will be transformed.

3. The Humanness of Spirituality

To be spiritual is to fulfill our humanness--everything that it means to be fully human. We are called in Christ to rediscover what it means to be human in this world. We need to feel comfortable in accepting our Creaturely-ness--and to do this, we must bow before God as a creature, accepting our place in Creation. We must accept our limits, rest in being human, and be at peace with our Creator. We can look at our corner of Creation and find contentment. And ultimately, we can are reminded of what we are being saved to--a glorious, redeemed world in which that relationship will be completely made right and restored to its full glory and purpose.

4. The Significance of the Fall

The shadow of the Fall and the utter brokenness of this world runs very, very deep. There is a dissonance in all of creation, even to the Christian. The consequences of sin are hideous and corruption is so widespread. Much of the Western world has been convinced that we can fix everything, that we can civilize all of the world, but the problems we struggle with are so incredibly hard to get rid of: brokenness within our families, bigotry, educational reforms, politics, etc. Only with Christ will the groanings of creation be ceased--there are no quick fixes. While no enjoyment of creation should be taken away, we must live in light of the evil, carry an awareness of the shadow of the Fall, and we must bleed and weep with this broken world.

5. The Hope and Good News of the Gospel

God has saving designs for his entire creation.... a new heaven and a new earth, where he will restore not only our souls, but also our physical bodies and every aspect of creation. Brokenness happens at every level, therefore salvation will happen at every level. God's entire creation is given over to Christ. We have been born anew of God into this world, and we are working with God to redeem it. This has huge implications--every aspect of the world should be brought into the light of Christ; therefore we are called to be agents of change and transformation. We must look after our patch of Creation and love the man next door.

This Past Week at L'Abri

I experienced L'Abri.

I didn't just read about it, or talk about it, or think about it. I was there.

It was an incredible week of learning and studying, caving and hiking, running and reading. Living amongst people for a week who can appreciate you and love you after only having known you for hours can sometimes be a stark contrast to the world in which we live everyday. Taking, in a sense, a fast of technology, entertainment, and the daily grind opens our eyes to the simple things in life, the small things that matter in huge ways and force us to abandon ourselves until we are utterly free and alive. Like the way the snow sparkled against the the moonlit sky as it fluttered down. And the way the sun rose over the hilltop, creating a canopy of orange and pink, red and yellow. Bare trees cluttered the valley below us and stalagmites littered the cave we crawled through on our tummies. The fire roared in the hearth as heat flushed our faces. I don't even think the word "refreshed" can quite describe the feeling I felt. The gift of Creation on this earth is huge.

There's something about intentionality, opening up our lives and our questions to the few people around us and getting honest, thoughtful answers--or getting no answer at all, only left with more questions. Hearing the stories of others and sharing your own creates a new fascination and beauty for the people around you. God is incredibly faithful in carrying out his plan through us, and intervening in real time to bring about his will. Truly knowing that is a gift in itself.

There's something about community that lets you know that you were made for it.

Biblical Productivity

post-its, lined legal pads, moleskine journals, my great new moleskine planner with the notebook page on the right.... these are all things that i particularly LOVE because they keep me organized, they give me control over something that is making me feel completely, utterly, overwhelmed. which is why i also love c.j. mahaney's last couple months of blog postings on biblical productivity.

Biblical Productivity

1. Are You Busy?
2. Confessions of a Busy Procrastinator
3. The Procrastinator Within
4. Just Do It
5. In All Thy Ways
6. The Sluggard
7. Time. Redeemed.
8. Roles, Goals, Scheduling
9. Roles (Part 1)
10. Roles (Part 2)
11. Goals (Part 1)
12. Goals (Part 2) – Up next.

this is some good stuff. very biblical, and really makes you re-examine your, well, life. maybe now i'll only have TWO colors of stickies, rather than a stack of five... :)

John Piper Making a Snow Angel

Just a funny little home video of John Piper.

Mark Driscoll and Mars Hill in the NY Times

"the cussing pastor," Mark Driscoll.

some excerpts:

Most people who attend Mars Hill do not see themselves as theological radicals. Mark Driscoll is just “Pastor Mark,” not the New Calvinist warrior demonized on evangelical and liberal blogs. Yet while some initially come for mundane reasons — their friends attend; they like the music — the Calvinist theology is often the glue that keeps them in their seats. They call the preaching “authentic” and “true to life.” Traditional evangelical theology falls apart in the face of real tragedy, says the 20-year-old Brett Harris, who runs an evangelical teen blog with his twin brother, Alex. Reducing God to a projection of our own wishes trivializes divine sovereignty and fails to explain how both good and evil have a place in the divine plan. “There are plenty of comfortable people who can say, ‘God’s on my side,’ ” Harris says. “But they couldn’t turn around and say, ‘God gave me cancer.’ ”
..............
Most members, however, didn’t join Mars Hill in order to ask questions. Damon Conklin, who is 41 and runs a tattoo parlor, says he joined Mars Hill because Driscoll made his life make sense — and didn’t ask him to pretend to be someone he wasn’t. “I decided to stop smoking crack and drinking every day,” Conklin says. “I had to find some kind of God in order to do that.” He hated the churches he visited: “I would show up looking as mean as possible, with my Afro blown out, wearing a wife-beater, and then I’d say, ‘Why don’t they like me?’ Then I went to Mars Hill, and I believed Mark.”
..............
Mars Hill — with its conservative social teachings embedded in guitar solos and drum riffs, its megachurch presence in the heart of bohemian skepticism — thrives on paradox. Critics on the left and right alike predict that this delicate balance of opposites cannot last. Some are skeptical of a church so bent on staying perpetually “hip”: members have only recently begun to marry and have children, but surely those children will grow up, grow too cool for their cool church and rebel. Others say that Driscoll’s ego and taste for controversy will be Mars Hill’s Achilles’ heel. Lately he has made a concerted effort to tone down his language, and he insists that he has delegated much authority, but the heart of his message has not changed. Driscoll is still the one who gazes down upon Mars Hill’s seven congregations most Sundays, his sermons broadcast from the main campus to jumbo-size projection screens around the city. At one suburban campus that I visited, a huge yellow cross dominated center stage — until the projection screen unfurled and Driscoll’s face blocked the cross from view. Driscoll’s New Calvinism underscores a curious fact: the doctrine of total human depravity has always had a funny way of emboldening, rather than humbling, its adherents.

Conversations with a Skeptic

I've been checking out the Mars Hill College Mission website the past few days and happened upon some really cool things. One that stuck out to me the most is a short conversation series they did called 'Conversations with a Skeptic.' An atheist was ripping on Mars Hill on his blog so coffee was drank and these conversations happened:

Conversations with a Skeptic 1
Conversations with a Skeptic 2
Conversations with a Skeptic 3
Conversations with a Skeptic 4

to be human...

"to be human is to be poor."

thoughts?

This Past Week (1)

This past week, I have wept for so many things--pain, sorrow, fear, joy, love. I've been challenged in incredible ways, pushed with a forceful shove to turn my eyes back to the gospel, and enlightened to how radical God's love for me really is. I've been inspired to shed my skin of unbelief and to let Christ emanate from my soul.

I've been forced with an iron fist out of my comfort zone but placed into one where I am completely free. I have been freed to see the beauty of people, to see the gem that has been placed inside each individual. To draw that out of them. I have been freed to love truly and without limits, without conditions. I have been freed to ascertain thoughts of the future only because I am living in the moment, trusting in the grace of the moment.

I've witnessed the devastation of sin but the Truth of Christianity. And my prayer then becomes a search for the REAL. for reality. for a living God.