pieces to a life.

i've been reminded these past few days that we all have a past; we all have so many things that have shaped us and defined our values and what we believe as true. the pictures that keep coming to my mind are a timeline, a number scale, and a puzzle. the timeline includes the entire span of our life, our birth to our death. it shows events that we don't even know about--things that have been placed by the hand of God and in some way have had some influence on us. the number scale tells "where we are," if you will. crossing over the zero to the positive numbers represents becoming a christian. and the puzzle represents our theology, maybe how much we "get it," if that makes sense. puzzle pieces are put in all the time. it might be a piece that has to be jammed into a spot that it doesn't quite fit in, or pieces might be taken out and replaced with others that fit a little better as we move down the number line.

i wish that i could see all of the events on my timeline, see where exactly different things and people have shaped me, and see where the pieces of my puzzle don't fit. i want to see where the root is to certain sins that i have and see what fruit, good or bad, is being produced in my life. i want to notice and examine and really take into account my past, and all that goes on that timeline. i'm starting to see my direct responses to my past, and it's scary. but i think if we don't dive into that, we are missing out on so much.