God's Design for Men and Women (1)

Earlier this afternoon, I finished reading a book that was filled with lots of great, biblical wisdom—all about God’s original design for men and women, what happened to that design because of the Fall, and how relationships between the two can be redeemed because of Christ. And all of this was eventually tied to implications for the big ‘D’ word that no one likes to actually read about – dating.

So that’s what this upcoming blog series will be about. Let’s start with God’s design in Creation….

Basically, God created everything—and He said it was good… until you keep reading to Genesis 2:18, when God suddenly says that everything was not good. God is talking about a man without a woman, so He provides a woman for the well-being of the man. A woman is formed out of Adam’s rib (Gen. 2:21-23)… and the first relationship between a man and a woman began. God’s purpose in creation envisioned a relationship (practically: marriage). Without this, life is not good for the man.

The woman was not merely the same flesh and bone for Adam, and she was not merely different from Adam in the sense that we realize daily, but she was “suitable” for him, a “helper fit for him.” They fit together like a jigsaw puzzle, evidenced in Genesis 2’s comparison between the animals and birds (created from nothing) and the woman whom God made from Adam’s own flesh.

If we focus on that word helper, it’s easy to see how in our fallen world it can have connotations of something weak and devalued. But if we see what the word looks like biblically, even God was called a helper. He was the helper of Israel; he is called a helper when he feeds a prophet, a widow, and her son; and look at Psalm 121: “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” A woman is not superfluous, but “essential to Adam’s condition and to God’s purpose in the world. Helper is a position of dignity given to the woman by God himself.”

Matthew Henry puts it this way: “The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved. Adam lost a rib…but in lieu thereof he had a helpmeet for him, which abundantly made up his loss.”

“A woman was given to man not for his whims but for his character. She elevates a man in true masculinity. In a perfect paradise not touched by sin, God’s people delighted in his design. Helper was not a position for Eve to fight, but a function for her to fulfill. It is God’s design, bearing his fingerprints for his glory and our good, a design we tamper with at our own peril. As the man delighted in the woman, so also she delighted in her calling and fully embraced it. That is why she is called his “glory” (1 Cor. 11:7). She brings beauty into the world for him. She ministers to him in light of the struggles and trials of his life. She stands beside him. She makes demands on him that God intends for him to fulfill.” And only after she was made from the man and given to Adam could the Bible finally say, "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good" (Gen. 1:31).

And what about the guy? What was he created for? Adam was granted lordship in the Garden, under God’s ultimate sovereignty. This wasn’t emphasizing a privilege, though; it was a lordship of obligation. Male leadership in the home and in the church is also talked about in the New Testament, looking back on the events in the Garden (see 1 Cor. 11:3 and 1 Tim. 2:12-14).

Genesis 2:15 says that “the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” These two key verbs in the Hebrew refer to Adam’s lordship to take the form of nurture and protection—not stoic and unfeeling. He was called to a servant-lordship, while Eve was the servant-helper—complementary ministry according to God’s design. The result of God’s design was perfect companionship.

But we have to remember that this is not a man and woman’s only relationship and often not their only ministry. Most significant is their own relationship to God and the calling to serve him with their gifts and talents. Without this right relationship to God, there is no hope for a right relationship between a man and a woman in God’s design.

Next post: the Fall and its effects on our relationships.